


To Lose, To Find

by surprisepink



Category: Fire Emblem: Rekka no Ken | Fire Emblem: Blazing Sword
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:21:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22536169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surprisepink/pseuds/surprisepink
Summary: When the two of them find each other, they learn that they share the same dream.
Relationships: Farina/Karla (Fire Emblem)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10
Collections: FE Femslash February 2020





	To Lose, To Find

The first time that Farina catches a glimpse of her, Karla is covered in blood. She’d only just joined the army, but at this late hour in the war there is no time for greetings and niceties, only a brief exchange of nods between two allies in the midst of a desperate fight for their lives. Karla has just felled her tenth man this battle, killing one after the other with no reprise in between. Most are alive and then they are gone in a single hit, her blade and her body both forged in the fires of Sacae and sharpened by the whetstone of daily toil. Their eyes meet for only an instant, and in them Farina sees a fire burning brighter than anything she’s ever seen.

It’s only the next day when she only realizes that Karla’s robes, stained with crimson, are meant to be a pure white. She wonders, but doesn’t ask, how she managed to clean them so perfectly.

“Did I frighten you, back then?” Karla asks later, after they’ve formed a friendship of sorts.

“No way, it’s not like I’d never seen someone die before!” Farina laughs it off, thought nothing about it is funny. As a mercenary, her choices in life are to laugh or to fall deeply into despair.

“My brother… in the throes of battle, sometimes he seems for a moment that he’s lost all humanity. The two of us look the same, only a man and a woman.”

“No, your eyes were too sad.”

By this point she’s spoken with Karla a dozen times and Karel once; the former has added up to several hours and the latter, thirty seconds. She and Karla are not so different, she has realized, despite the initial culture shock: both fight for their own reasons and respect those that differ from their own, and both love their families beyond measure. Should she ever end up on the wrong side of Karla’s blade, Farina will know that somewhere along the line one of them has made a mistake. In sharp contrast, Karel seems like he might choose Farina as his next target for slaughter if she looks at him the wrong way.

It’s clear now that she was mistaken when she made assumptions about why Karla was dedicating her life to a man: he is not a lover, but a brother. Some part of her still thinks it is undeserved. Karla’s passion, her grace – they should be turned to serve someone who can appreciate her fully, care for her completely. And yet, if it were Fiora in that place, closed down and cold and reveling fully in the a thirst for murder, she too would be just the same.

* * *

Karla is honest, Farina quickly realizes. She says what she means, promptly and fully, then falls silent when she’s done. To Farina, who has spent her entire life trying to stand out, first between two sisters and then among a whole unit of pegasus knights, it can be disconcerting not having to compete with her for a chance to speak and not having her leave when she gets bored like some of the others in the army. When she runs out of somethings to talk about, she starts to speak of nothing; it’s the only option she can think of. So Karla soon learns more of Florina’s embarrassing stories and arguments with Fiora than she has any reason to care about, and nods and smiles along all the same.

“Do you mind it?” Farina asks one day.

Karla shakes her head. “I like hearing about your sisters. They seem kind.”

“Yeah, we’re pretty different, but we’re close as can be. If it came down to it we’d die for each other. That’s what sisters are for.”

“Yes… what sisters are for.”

Karla’s eyes seem sad again, but Farina says nothing. She will learn one day, she hopes, how to make things right.

* * *

The path to victory feels like it takes a thousand years, although in reality it’s much shorter. But a clear victory comes, and miraculously none from their group falls in the process. When the dragon is felled, the whole army is a mess of shouts and cheers, and Farina sweeps Karla up into a big bear hug, not minding at all that they’re both covered in blood again, this time both red and a sickly draconian purple. She quickly realizes that she’s not strong enough to spin around holding a full-grown woman the way she used to be able to do when Florina was small, and the both of them go crashing to the ground.

Karla is warm, sprawled across her, and surprisingly soft, and she’s shaking slightly. Worried, Farina pushes the long hair from her face.

“Are you laughing?”

“Mm,” Karla manages between giggles. “You’re hilarious, Farina.”

The witty retort that she reaches for never comes, and instead she holds Karla there, a few allies glancing at them and choosing not to interfere when they realize they are both alive and joyous. Farina gasps when Karla kisses her, chaste and gentle as the wind, and when the separate she smiles widely.

“Do that again?” she asks.

“You’re beautiful,” Karla answers, her hair swept in every direction and her cheeks pink; she is too, too sincere, Farina is certain of this, and full of wonders to discover, and Farina will do whatever it takes to lead her to a comfortable life away from the horrors of war.

* * *

Their lives neatly fall into step with each other afterward and they come to live together after for many years, making a home out of a small hut at the outskirts of Ilia, hunting often and working as mercenaries when they must. Farina’s sisters accept Karla as one of their own, never seeming to notice or care about their differences in upbringing, and visit often. As nieces and nephews are born, Karla and Farina step in to care for them as often as needed, and when their own daughter comes, she receives the same care in turn. Karla laughs more often with each passing year, as warm antics fill their home, as they both uncover the first bits of grey in the other’s hair.

Karla sits by the fire one night, their large, fluffy dog sleeping soundly in her lap, reading over a letter for what feels like the millionth time since she had received it. There’s no need to ask who it’s from; instead, Farina seats herself next to her, leaning on her shoulder just slightly.

The message on the letter is a brief one, in the messy hand of a man who’s learned to read and write only for practical reasons, and who sends as few letters as possible. _Worry for me no longer._ it says, _I have found peace. Your brother._

“I wonder every day if I should search for him again,” Karla says, barely above a whisper.

“I know. He might not be alive.”

“And if he is...”

“It’s your choice to make.”

“What do you think?”

“I think...” she pauses, sighs. “I think you did everything for him that you possibly could, when you were together. And I don’t want us to abandon what we have for something that may come to nothing more.”

Karla nods toward the girl wrapped in furs on their bed, sleeping soundly. “I… have lost my family once. I don’t want to lose this.”

“Then that’s your answer, isn’t it?”

They’ve had this conversation a dozen times at least, and each time Farina’s heart is ill at ease. Karla may never be able to fully let her past go, and that will have to be that. Were it anybody else she would tire of this, of treading this same path so many times to the same end, but Karla is not anybody else, and for her, Farina will listen to her worries forever.  
They fall asleep like this, still before the fire, hands intertwined.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, Bartre.
> 
> Come and say hi on [twitter](https://twitter.com/seraphknights)!


End file.
